it’s a very strange feeling

February 2, 2011

family life, parenting

I have had children at home for 9.5 years. And now I don’t. 

The youngest bloke went off to school this morning.

The house is so very quiet, and at midday, an hour after the in-laws left after having a cuppa and a chat, it has hit me like a ton of bricks. 

This morning was awful.

The young bloke woke us all up, so excited. “Come on, get up, it’s morning.” But then the emotional roller coaster started again. I had made his weetbix.

“I don’t want weetbix this morning, I want cheerios”. I made him cheerios and he proceeded to spill the bowl into his lap.

“I want my weetbix again please.” “Sorry, Dad has eaten your weetbix because you didn’t want it.”

TANTRUM.

He said “This is a terrible day.”

“I know what you mean, mate” I said as I cleaned up the sticky mess and made some more weetbix.

The runt of my litter, his size 4 shorts looked like trousers. He is the smallest kid in a group of over 30 kids, he is also the loudest. His voice booms over everyone else including the teachers (I’ve had his hearing checked).

I’m going to miss my sidekick. The cute, noisy, little kid, who would flash a smile at shopkeepers and they would give him an extra donut just because he has “such a warm smile”. The kid who everyone commented “he is amazing” as I would have to take him along to meetings for work sometimes, who would entertain himself for hours and chat up anyone around the place or make instant friends with other kids. Bold and cheeky, but compliant when required.

I’ve mentioned before, this period leading up to school has been very difficult for him emotionally. LABILE. I have wondered whether he is ready. He had his Best Start assessment the other day (they assess kids before kindergarten here). He said to the teacher “I don’t read”, not I can’t, but I don’t. She asked him to draw. He said “I don’t draw”. She looked at me, and I said “he is different to my other boys” (whom she has taught),  “he’s more of an Action Jackson”. I didn’t mention that he can be extremely stubborn, but I think she got some idea.

I take comfort knowing that both Kindergarten teachers enjoy quirky kids. It will be interesting…

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About hakea

groupworker, parent educator, therapist, mother of three boys.

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11 Comments on “it’s a very strange feeling”

  1. kaet Says:

    Good luck with the change, to both of you.

    Reply

  2. kloppenmum Says:

    Good luck indeed, it’s a long way off for me – another 5 years. Remember to take a break for a week or so…some people get a gold watch after 10 years service…mothering you don’t!

    Reply

  3. hakea Says:

    so far so good.

    he happily walked home, and insisted that he carry his school bag himself despite the heat.

    i asked him later “did you miss your mum?”. he said “no, i only cared about the teacher because school is short, but you’re still my best mum and i’m still your best son.”

    had to correct him about the best son bit.

    Reply

  4. darkstarburning Says:

    Aww, I know this feeling well. December of last year was the very first time I’ve been without a child around for 15 years! The first few days I threw myself into housework to distract myself from “empty nest syndrome” . Now I can’t wait to drop the little ones off and embrace the silence…..ahhhh, peace…… 🙂

    Reply

    • hakea Says:

      15 years is a long time. It is such an empty feeling, not to be interrupted every five minutes, not to be incessantly chatted at, and no Ben 10 blasting on the TV.
      aha! I think I would have done homework, but it was too darn hot (42 celsius).
      And the computer was playing up because it was too hot. I think I managed to wash a few plates.

      Reply

  5. kloppenmum Says:

    What is it with the ‘I’m the best son’ bit? Mine do it too. When I was teaching I found the novelty wore off at around week eight or nine: lots of kids decide that they’ve done with school and would rather stay home…

    Reply

    • hakea Says:

      yes, my first boy thought he only had to go to school for one week. he said something like “i’ve done that now, what do i do next?”.

      it’s a big change isn’t it? my boys went to long daycare three days per week, but found going to school five days per week really hard to cope with.

      Reply

  6. Theresa Says:

    It’s definitely a strange feeling. My youngest is 11 so they’ve all been in school for a number of years but still have to occasionally visit their out-of-state father. With five you’d think I’d cherish the quiet but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it…

    Reply

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