bikes, boys, and being mum

It was so good yesterday

They wanted to do it again.

 

We lifted the bikes over the school fence

to ride on the netball court.

 

So big now

and so fast

so confident

pushing new limits every day

 

No-one needs me now

To hold the bike whilst he gets on

To run behind the bike

whilst he zig-zags

and steers wildly

To catch him as he banks left

and nearly falls.

 

But I’m there

Looking on

And stopping myself

from saying “be careful”.

 

I look away

and in that moment

there’s a scrape and a crash

a brief moment of silence

then the howl

 

a bike on the ground

a crumpled boy

 

I hold him

still howling

shaking from the shock

 

We sit together

on the bench

I hug him and he cries

hurting and heartbroken

 

How can something that felt so good

Turn so quickly into pain?

 

He sobs and sobs.

I hug him

and rock him

“sh sh sh sh sh”

I don’t want him to shush the crying

but how to take the pain away?

“it hurts so much” I whisper.

 

I can’t remember anyone hugging my hurts out.

Will he?

 

There are bandaids in my bag

but I’ve forgotten about them.

 

We watch the other boys

pick up the discarded bike

to put it aside

and ride on

 

Now I call out

“be careful”

as I straighten the handlebars

so they are in line with the wheel

 

The crying turns into a whimper

“I can’t ride my bike now

it hurts too much”

the bottom lip goes out

 

We stay,

watching

 

it’s less fun with one less

they are less fast, less confident

 

the youngest falls off his bike

four times

just to show that he can do it too

and goes out again

after a hug.

 

I wheel the bike to the fence

and lift it over,

 

“Want to coast down the hill to home? It might be easier than walking?”

“OK, I’ll try”

He’s on the bike again.

 

Inspired by Bentlily (http://bentlily.com/about/).