it’s been a hard week

February 25, 2013

family life

♥ Lots of lessons learnt and dispensed this week.

We have always told our boys “friends come and go, but brothers are forever”. I had two brothers growing up and we did everything together. We learnt how to play by playing together, and we learnt how to fight by fighting with each other. Forgiveness was an enduring quality amongst us.

Our eldest boy learnt a lesson in the fickleness of friendship and the importance of family this week. A “good friend” of my eldest boy plotted against my middle boy, and eldest boy went along with it to save the friendship. There were discussions in our household this week about what a good friend looks like, and having the strength of character to refuse to go along with actions that will upset or hurt others. Any type of other, brother or not. The next day, this “good friend” turned against my eldest boy.

It was a good lesson to learn, but something we have dealt with in the past, and I suspect we will deal with again.

♥ Lots of disclosures of abuse in my work with children.

God be with those who explore in the cause of understanding; whose search takes them far from what is familiar and comfortable and leads them into danger or terrifying loneliness. Let us try to understand their sometimes strange or difficult ways; their confronting or unusual language; the uncommon life of their emotions, for they have been affected and shaped and changed by their struggle at the frontiers of a wild darkness, just as we may be affected, shaped and changed by the insights they bring back to us. Bless them with strength and peace. Amen.

Michael Leunig

♥ Lots of busy-ness this week, and keeping the kids balanced whilst juggling school, work, homework, soccer trials, and after school activities.

Yay! for positive parenting.

This week, I have been noticing how I automatically put up resistance to the hard stuff, and how it drains my energy pushing through it. Just the act of noticing it arise, holding it for a little while, locating where I feel it in my body, and then breathing through it, changes how I approach everything. It’s tricky working through these little defences that our mind sets up for us, they become habits and we don’t know why we do what we do until we really start to tune in.

♥ Lots of rain.

So much rain that the washing has been on the line for over a week, and I take clothes off the line so I can dry them inside to wear for the next day.

♥ And my mum’s house burnt down

Luckily she woke up in time and got out unharmed. She is 800 kilometres away in the country and her neighbours are helping her in every way possible. Very generous folks.

It’s always the way with fire. After the shock comes the realisation that you’ve lost the photos and sentimental stuff. The photos of my brothers and I as kids. The photos of my dad’s family. The photos of my mum’s family. The watch that has been passed down the last five generations, to the third child of the third child. My stepdad’s war medals and his art journals.


Phew! It’s been an emotional week. This weekend it is raining, and it feels just right, time to rest and reflect.


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About hakea

groupworker, parent educator, therapist, mother of three boys.

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4 Comments on “it’s been a hard week”

  1. InsideJourneys (@InsideJourneys) Says:

    WOW, Narelle, what a week you’ve had! Sorry to hear about everything but especially about your mom’s house. Glad to hear she’s okay – hopefully, you can replace some of the things that were lost.


  2. Artful abuela Says:

    it has been a while that i haven’t read the blogs i love to follow, so reading this morning about your mom’s house made me sad, as if it had just happened and relieved that she is ok. at this point, hopefully things are returning to a liveable rhythm, but there are probably be so many details that need attention. please let your mom know that people near and far have her in their is she doing? and you?


    • hakea Says:

      Thank you AA for your kind thoughts. I have some catching up on blogs to do too.

      My mum is forging ahead, planning to get the house rebuilt and defying all those who tell her she should go to a retirement home. She’s 69 years old, and ready to start over again.

      I still get sad about losing all of the photos, my dad’s photos, and my stepdad’s journals.


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