snapshot – january twenty-eighteen

January 15, 2018

family life

I am…
Making: plans! for: gardens at the farm; making beeswax products from our bees; digging up all of the Black Cyprus Pine seedlings that self-seed on the farm and offering them as living native Christmas trees.
Cooking: Summer = Salads, and salads are happy food.
Drinking: Natures Cuppa organic English Breakfast tea. Real tea, with milk and sugar. And coffee with milk and our honey.
Reading: everything Flow. I picked up a Flow magazine at a newsagent in the quaint tiny town of Grenfell NSW, where Henry Lawson was born. I have since purchased 19 Days of Mindfulness, A Book That Takes Its Time, and Everything Grows With Love, all created by Flow. I am in love with all things Flow.
Trawling: the internet for mindfulness resources.
Wanting: a subscription to Flow magazine but $200 for 6 issues is a bit steep.
Looking: at my djembe sitting in the corner.
Thinking: that I really need to dust off that djembe and play it.
Deciding whether I should declutter my wardrobe. Will I fit into those clothes ever again?
Enjoying: catching up with online friends and real-time friends.
Wondering: how my three boys can look and be so different.
Loving: that I got to spend three days on the farm with my middle boy and his pug. Just us. He is the aloof one, and we need to make extra effort to connect with him.
Pondering: what my options will be this year will be regarding work. The funding will run out for two of my part-time jobs. I have registered a business name but I am not sure what to do with it.
Listening: to nothing. Silence is golden. An old teacher said that once in assembly when I was in sixth grade and it has stuck. My kids have heard me say it so many times, they now say it. That teacher was ancient and he chain-smoked in the classroom – times have changed.
Considering: all of the things I have to do, including calling a fella to come and have a look at our roof which is leaking. When it rains the water comes through one of the light fittings. I have put it off for too long. We also haven’t had a kitchen light for several years because I need to call an electrician to fix it. And we need a termite inspection.
Buying: apart from a few Flow indulgences, nothing, because our farm is a bit of  money pit.
Watching: our bees. Bees are bliss.
Planting: bee-friendly natives, herbs, and flowers.
Hoping: that the plants I put in the ground at the farm will survive the heat and lack of rainfall.
Marvelling: at how simple and lovely our Christmas was. We only gave out our honey this year for gifts, in these trendy little glass jars. We went to two Christmas Eve services in the country because we were at the farm. We went to the Anglican Service at 6pm and the Catholic service at 7pm. Driving home, we saw the most amazing sunset. We didn’t do presents within our family as the kids don’t want for anything. We ate simply but well.
Cringing: at having to dig another hole. I dug so many holes in the hard dry clay when we were at the farm for two weeks over Christmas and New Year, I don’t ever want to dig another hole.
Wearing: ripped jeans, because my clothes get wrecked at the farm.
Needing: to buy more school clothes and backpacks for the start of the new school year.
Knowing: that I need to be more careful of what I eat. I had another bout of renal colic last week, and it’s not fun.
Avoiding: going back to work. Holidays are too good.
Admiring: a three-point hitch for our Ventrac tractor and a TR3 rake attachment. That thing would get so much work done.
Looking: at our house, that was once cluttered with toys and kid’s stuff, and is now being overrun with bee supplies. How can such little critters need so much stuff?
Shaking: my head at the evening news. Too much violence, hatred, and misunderstanding. I can’t make sense of the news of a darling 14 year-old who ended her life because she was being cyberbullied.
Feeling: grateful
Dreaming: of living at the farm. Maybe in 4 years or so, when my youngest boy is older, I can spend more time at the farm. Maybe get a job locally, or work the bees full-time? When I talk about living at the farm, my husband takes in a breath through gritted teeth. He struggles with the isolation.
Reflecting: on some of the strategies discussed in the book The Body Keeps The Score by Dr Bessel van der Kolk.
Smiling: at my 12 year old, who is growing up and slimming down, and acting like he knows everything. We’ve been here before.

About hakea

groupworker, parent educator, therapist, mother of three boys.

View all posts by hakea


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6 Comments on “snapshot – january twenty-eighteen”

  1. phrogmom Says:

    I have been really wanting to read ‘the body keeps the score!’


    • hakea Says:

      Hi Phroggie

      I recommend it. I skimmed through the first three-quarters, as I wanted to get to the treatment part. That was really interesting. Particularly the use of yoga in helping people to integrate mind and body.

      I have been reading of your son’s illness on FaceBook. I hope that he gets well soon.


  2. LisaDay Says:

    That does seem a bit steep for six issues. I loved your list. So much to read and think about.


  3. michaelwatsonvt Says:

    Lovely, playful, engaging post. So much quiet, thoughtful doing!


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